I have longtime friends and associates who I’ve always known to be kind and thoughtful. Yet something happens to them at times when they are on Facebook, Twitter, or e-groups. They become bullies. They shame and troll. They criticize and judge. I see the tendency in myself. What comes over us that makes us…
Category: Ready to Heal
Understanding Our Core Nature Through the Three Archetypes
We can understand the intertwined experience of the archetypes the same way we understand the harmony of organs within an organism. Our eyes are the Guardian; our hands, the Nurturer; and our mouth, the Communicator. Each serves a distinct role, and yet there may be times when we communicate with our eyes or see with…
Inspiration #2: Be vulnerable? Maybe not
This is another one of the awakenings I had during the unbelievable afternoon I recently spent with a fellow therapist. How often have you heard people encouraging someone to be vulnerable, meaning to put down your guard and be open? Although it made sense to me, I felt uneasy about it, as though there was some inherent…
Inspiration #1: How To Tell Real From Faux Feelings
I just spent most of the afternoon with one of the trauma therapists with whom I work. It was a magical time-the synergy kept sending chills up our spines. I’ll share with you the bursts of awakening that came to me during that sharing. A number of Native languages have no version of the verb “to be”. Curiously, nearly…
The Final Healing
Dementia is typically viewed as mental decline—the irrevocable disintegration of cognitive capacities that terminates with death. From our cultural vantage point, this makes perfect sense, and I am not here to deny or refute it. Rather, I would like to present an alternative reality: Dementia is the final healing journey, where the person becomes demented,…
Resolve Conflict by Becoming It
Common knowledge amongst emotionally intelligent people is that when there is interpersonal conflict, the two most helpful things the involved parties can do are to extend empathy and listen. These practices can truly be helpful, yet I see them as only a first step. By diffusing tension, they set the stage for what I think…
The Roots of Codependency
During a question-and-answer period at the end of one of my childrearing workshops, a participant sheepishly admitted that he was envious of all the attention children had received in the workshop. I asked what his childhood was like, and he responded that he had a perfect childhood–his parents gave him everything he wanted. When he…
Story–the Other Currency
I recently went to a dentist to have a cavity filled. While he was prepping me, I asked what kind of filler he was going to use. While he replied, it occurred to me that he might be interested in the fact that I teach wilderness dental care. I told him and his assistant about…
How Did That Feel for You?
Have you ever had an intimate sharing and then had your partner ask how it felt? When you’re obviously distraught, do people ask how you’re feeling? The rational mind has moved into the territory of feelings–which evolved as a form of nonverbal communication–and reduced them to words. When extremely distraught we might be given a…
Love is Wild
We like to approach relationship as though we were tending the perfect potted plant—we primp and prune it, we feed and water it, we take it in and out of the sun, we keep it from getting too warm or too cold. Is it any wonder that most long-standing relationships have so little spontaneity or…