Beauty Is

I just read about a man who had a flower garden that he continually improved by pulling out the plain-looking specimens and throwing them in the garbage. One day while he was out walking, he passed by a flower garden more beautiful than his. Wracked with jealousy, he asked the gardener where she got her plants. She told him she was his garbage collector.

Do you find yourself judging people according to how they might fulfill your needs? Do you have expectations of new relationships—are you looking for sex, a mate, a mother/father image, gratifying conversation?

When I was a young man, my relationships with women were all about myself. Does she look good (i.e., will she satisfy my ego)? Do I have a chance with her? Will it last? My awakening came from three Wolves, who would not tolerate my disrespect and usury. I was either present and cherishing all the moment contained, or I was banished.

It was still a quantum leap for me to accept what I learned as applying to all relationships. After a few failed attempts, I finally got it and found myself open to sharing with all people. There were no more flowers in the garbage—the uniqueness and intrinsic beauty of each one shined. Not for what they could give me, but for who they were, and it was both a pleasure and an honor to be with them.

To choose, I must reject. To have treasure, it is essential that I create trash. To love one, I have to scorn another. To believe this, I need to discredit that. I trap myself in a dichotomous catch-22. What might life be like if we cherished it all?